Our last day

  G and I had a really fun time on Monday.  Despite the circumstances, we were both really happy, and had alot of peace, and I cherish the alone time that we spent together.  

On Monday, my happiness was found in.....

...stopping at our 'usual' gas station so I could buy French Vanilla Cappuccino.

...holding hands with my best friend while we drove and sang to our favorite country songs.

...buying shoes and books for our kids.

...using a gift card that we've had since July to go out to eat at Ruby Tuesdays.

...holding hands across the table when G prayed for our meal and our future.

...sharing a drink with G.

...talking about our future and feelings in the hotel we stayed at.

...embracing each other and exchanging truths and fears with each other.

...kissing and saying "I love you!" a hundred times over.

...staring into the eyes of the man that holds my heart.

...knowing that our love and strength will only deepen in our time away.

...sleeping next to my best friend.

...assurance that God is with us, and He will hold us both up.

  I startled awake at 5 in the morning, yesterday.  The wind was howling and my mind was filled with all that would be happening in a few short hours.  I knew I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep, so instead, I prayed to the Lord and sang hymns in my head.  I asked God for strength and peace for the day, and week the come.  

  At 8:00, G and I were at his air base and we were handed papers filled with information and we were briefed on what would be taking place for the next 6 months.  That's when it started feeling real.  G was given instructions and advice, and I was given contact numbers for people that could help me while he's gone.  

  I kept looking at the clock and calculating how much time I had left with him.  1 hour and 30 minutes.  How do I spend that time with him?  We had our families around us, and I wasn't the only one who wanted to say good-bye.

  As we drove to the airport, my stomach started to knot up.  This is it.  This is where we have to say good-bye.  We will both go into the airport, but I will be leaving with out him.  

  We all stayed in the waiting area just before the security check point.  I sat next to G and tried to stay calm.  I leaned over and asked, "How long before you will be leaving me?"

"Fifteen minutes."

  That's it?!?  That's all I have left?  How can I tell you how much I love you in 15 minutes?  I wanted to hold his hands.  I wanted to look into his eyes.  I wanted to let him hold me in his arms.  Fifteen  minutes, that's all we had left.  I wouldn't be seeing him for 8 weeks, and all I had was 15 minutes.

  We stood up and held each other.  We were both crying and we were looking at each other.  I felt so much sadness, so much pain, and I could see the pain in his eyes.

  "G, you are my world.  I love you so much and I'm going to miss you like crazy."

  We kissed for the last time, and then we had to let go.  I followed him as far as I could.  I was crying and wanted nothing more than to follow him and be with him.  I watched him from a distance, and when he turned around for the last time, I put both of my arms in the air, and showed him our "I love you" sign.  He signed it back, and then he turned and left.