My husband, who I will call G, joined the Air National Guard this past summer.  He is scheduled to leave for training on February 15, 2011.  I will only be able to be with him for 5 more weeks.  I have many mixed emotions about him leaving.  First, I am very anxious and scared.  I don't know what will happen, or how I will raise our 3 children by myself.  I am also feeling very alone.  G is my best friend and has been my other half for the last 10 years.  I am not me with out him.  I'm not even sure how I will function.  I have never been on my own.  I married G the summer after I graduated high school.  I never needed to be a strong, independent woman.  I have always relied so heavily on G.  He makes me happy, he comforts me when I"m sad, he's always there for me to talk to.  Now, I won't have him for 6 months.  I will need to learn how to be strong.  I will need to be strong for myself, but more importantly, for my kids. 
        I am Learning to Let Go.
  I will be letting go of everything that I am familiar and comfortable with.  I will be letting go, physically, of G for a time.  I will be letting go of my bubble that I've always been in.  I will be letting go of all the control that I think I have over my life and decisions.  I also need to let go of my fears and not let them rule me through out this journey.
  I will be letting go, but I want God to continually take hold of me, my life, and my journey.  I want Him to be in complete control.  I want Him to teach me what is it to wholly trust His leading for my life. 
  This journey has not just begun, and it is also far from being over.  I want God to continually shape me into a different person for the rest of my life....starting today.  These next 7 months will, no doubt, be the most difficult thing I've had to go through.  There will be tears, there wills be doubts, and there will be fear.  I am excited to see what I will be learning through this experience, and how God can change me to be better fit to be called His child.