3 weeks...

  This time of year is always emotional for me.  The big holidays are over, and a new year has begun.  All 3 of my kids were born around this time.  Two of them were born in January, and 1 at the beginning of February.  I remember all my feelings of joy, relief, and fear during the births of my kids.  The hardest one for me was when my oldest daughter was born 8 weeks early, and was diagnosed with Down Syndrome.  (that's a story for another day:)

  This year is a little different.  I am still counting down the weeks, but it's not for a pregnancy, and the birth of another child.  Now, I'm counting down for the sad event of G leaving.  It's funny how the biggest changes of my life have always happened at the beginning of the year. 

  I have been uplifted by these verses that I re-found in my Bible last week.

    "This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. 

   It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassion's fail not.  

   They are new every morning; great is thy Faithfulness.  

   The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in Him.  

   The LORD is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh Him. 

   It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD."

~Lamentations 3:21-26

   What comfort!  The Lord's compassion's fail not, and are new every morning!  I cannot read these verses enough!  I am amazed at all the promises that are stated here!  This brings me great joy and peace.  I can't imagine trying to go through all this with out knowing that God will be with us.  What an awesome God we serve!

   I can't explain it, but I really am experiencing a lot of peace this last week.  I've been trying not to think about it, but when I do, God has calmed my heart and my fears.  I look forward to continually experiencing God-given peace through all this.

   G and I are trying to make the most of our time left.  We are trying to prepare ourselves and each other as best as we can.  We're trying to stay positive and upbeat.  We are also striving to rest in God's grace as much as possible.

  I've been trying to store every memory away in my mind and heart.  I've been staring at G a lot and trying to memorize every smile, laugh, and movement that he makes.  I want his voice to constantly be in my ears.  It's funny, because in a lot of ways, I feel like we are newly weds again.  I always want to be by him, hearing his voice and holding his hand, and staring into his eyes.  I've taken his presence for granted and I can see that now.  

   This whole process has been a strain on our marriage and relationship to each other.   With joy, I can now say that I can see our marriage being strengthened.  By God's grace, we are bound even closer to each other and we are unified.  By God's grace, our love and respect for each other has deepened.  I am proud that G is my best friend and husband, and I love him more than I could ever put into words.  I am proud that he is the one who will be going through this trial with me, though in a different state, still 'by my side.'

   Praise God for His mercy on us and our marriage!