As some of you might think, I have not fallen into the pit of complete insanity. I have been unable to write because I have limited internet access where we are living now. Two weeks ago, we moved out of the tiny Inn, and are now living in an apartment on base. I have been enjoying a normal sized kitchen that includes real appliances! It is enjoyable to cook again! We also now have 2 bedrooms, and our own washer and dryer. What a luxury! The Inn served us well for the time, but I am so glad to be in a more normal housing space.
  Our days have not been filled with too much excitement. I take the kids to the park a couple times a day so they can run off some energy. We went to the beach a couple times this week. Other Californians must think it's good beach weather, too, because the sands have been populated by many swimmers, sun tanners, runners, bikers, walkers, and lazy 'life-enjoyers.' It is so refreshing to relax by the ocean. I love watching the ever-flowing waves, and hearing the constant movement of the mighty waters. It puts my heart at peace to know that My God is the One who created those powerful waves, and He is the One who is ever sustaining me and my life. What an Awesome God! There is no other way to say it.

"He only is my rock and my salvation;

He is my defence; I shall not be moved.

In God is my salvation and my glory:

The rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.

Trust in Him at all times; ye people,

Pour out your heart before Him;

God is a refuge for us."

~Psalm 62:6-8

  Our Lord has been so gracious to me and my family, and I am overwelmed with awe by His constant provisions and Faithfulness to us. Every day, there is something that He does that reminds me that He is in control and is always tenderly leading us.
  We have been attending a Baptist Church since I've been here, and we have weekly been blessed through the faithful preaching and Godly fellowship. This also, has been the work of God's hands. I will be sad to leave this little God-fearing congregation and the friends that we have made along the way, but I am thankful that this was in God's plan for us while we were here.

  I have quickly become popular among G's friends for my cooking. :) Now, I certainly don't think that I'm the best cook out there, but I'm also not the worst. I have been enjoying making some of G's favorite dishes and desserts for him to finally eat again. We have been having some of his friends over for supper, and it has been fun hearing and seeing the reactions to these poor, single guys who haven't had a home cooked meal in several months. :) Tonight, we will be having lasagna (2 pans) and peach dessert, 2 of G's favorite foods, and will be sharing it with 3 of his friends. I'm glad that I can help put a little bright spot in these guys' days.

Getting Settled...

  I've been trying to make life here as "normal" as possible.  It's been a challenge, and has definitely been trying my patience.  I keep looking at this time as an adventure, which it is, and try to stay as upbeat as possible, and enjoy all the moments. 
  So, since we've been here, we've been staying at the Inn on the base.  It's a nice place, but definitely lacking in the "kid friendly" area.  The room we started out in was very small, and we were sharing a bathroom with the room next to us.  Inconvenient, yes, but it was only $28 per night...something I could afford.  Thankfully, we didn't have to deal with any one living in the room next to us until we had been here a week. 
  I had been outside when I saw our new neighbor moving in.  It was an older woman, probably in her 70's.  As i observed her, I thought to myself that she would either be very sweet, or that she would be hard to please and dislike kids.  So playing on the side of caution, I tried to keep the kids extra quiet (which I failed miserably at) and I tried to clean up my half of the bathroom.  With in 2 hours, I got a call from the front desk.  A complaint had already been made against us.  Hmmm...I wonder who it came from.  After supper, I hurried the kids out the door, so I could take them to the park for them to wear off their energy and noise.  When we returned an hour later, I had good reason to believe that our neighbor was already trying to sleep...at 8pm.  Uggg...how was I supposed to keep my munchkins quiet for another 1-2 hours??  Things went fairly well (from my perspective) until we were in the bathroom and my son, R, started pounding on her bathroom door and yelling, "Hello?? Leah, are you awake?"  I was horrified!!  And then, he grabbed her toothbrush case off the counter (it was too pretty of a color to resist) opened it, and her toothbrush fell on the not-so-clean floor.  AHHH!!  I wanted to scream!!  Could the kids do anything more to help us get kicked out?  Sure enough, with in an hour, the front desk called and said we needed to move to a different room...and it was already 9:30 at night.  Uggg!  So there we were.  The kids were already in their jammies, and we quickly tried to throw all our stuff together so we could move to a room about 12 doors down.  Not exactly how I wanted to spend my night, but really, I was surprised we made it as long as we did. :)  So, apparently, 1 adult and 3 kids do not work well in a room meant for single people.  And, we were considered a fire hazard, or at least that's what the final straw was for us needing to move. 
  So now we are cozy in our new room, and I'm finding that I need to continue to be creative.  Not artsy creative...I mean just creative for our day to day, hour to hour living.  I do not have a kitchen.  All I have is a microwave and a tiny dorm fridge.  Yeah, preparing any food for 4 people is definitely a challenge.  I think I should make a cookbook called, "What you can, and definitely can NOT make in a microwave"  Written by: Slowing losing her Sanity Sarah.  I really do think it will be a best seller.  :)

Eating Spaghetti at the "new table."

  Have you ever seen the info commercial for the "Pasta Boat"?  Yes, I gave in a bought it from Wal-Mart 4 months ago.  Let me tell you, it has truly been a life saver for our meals.  I've made spaghetti with peppers and onions, tuna helper, hamburger helper, rice and noodle packages, steamed potatoes and carrots, and that's only the tip of this cooking ice burg.  After I struggle to make a meal in my Past Boat, I then have to clean it in the bathroom in the shower.  Ahh, yes.  I miss having a real kitchen.  Well, mark it up to memories and experiences. :) 
  Along with not having a kitchen, we don't have a table.  So, our new table is a towel on the floor that me and the kids all huddle around.  The nice thing about it, is I can roll up the "table" when we're done eating, and shake it out outside.  Hey, there's gotta' be a positive side to everything, right? :)

At Port Hueneme Beach

  So, other than the above inconveniences, I really do like it here.  It is gorgeous!  The mountains are to the north of us, and the ocean is a 5 minute drive to the south.  The temperature is quite mild.  I don't think it's been hotter than 70 since I've been here, there is no humidity, and no bugs!  Quite nice, and easy to adjust to. :)

Roadtrip in Pictures

Utah!

I packed a casserole from home, and we heated it up and ate it at a gas station in Utah.  It was cheap, easy, and nerdy! :)

Kids eating dinner at a gas station.  Good 'ol family vacation! :)

Beautiful Western Colorado.

Our stop in the middle of Nowhere Utah to clean up the "mess" in the van...:S

Utah!!  Beautiful country!

Kids at the Excalibur in Vegas.  My 3 little ducks in a row. :)

Didn't go through it, but got close!

Miss Jayden seeing Daddy for the first time in 14 weeks.  Sweet reunion! :)

Rockies in Colorado.  On day 2 of driving, we went from 52 degrees in Colorado, to 84 in Utah.  Crazy!

Tunnel through the mountain.

All tuckered out from the trip.  They all took 2 naps each day...at the same time!!  They were great...all things considered...:)

It was awesome to finally say, "Kids!  There's Daddy!!!"

Daddy with his son :)

ROAD TRIP!!

  Yes, I know.  It's been weeks since I last wrote.  Life has been busy, and chaotic, and I've been trying to get my life in Iowa in order, so I could freely move to my life in California.  For those of you who didn't already know, G and I decided for me to pack up my life for a while, and take the kids clear down to Southern California to spend some time together as a family.  We plan on staying in CA for about 6 weeks.
  So, after weeks of planning, praying, and packing, my 3 kids, my best girl friend, and I crammed ourselves and our "lives" into our van, and started the long, slow trip to CA.  Quite honestly, I was really excited about the road trip.  I've never driven beyond Denver, and I was excited to see what the country looked like past my little bubble.
  The first day (Wednesday) we left at 7:30am.  I didn't shed any tears as we drove away from my home and state.  I was filled with excitement for the trip, and eagerness to see G again. The kids were great in the van, and with in 2 hours, they were all fast asleep, lulled by the constant rain on the windows.  We passed through flat Nebraska, and for the first time in my life, I was able to see the beauty of the flat, dry state.  We really started getting excited when we made it to Colorado.  That's when things really started to feel real, and we were really leaving our comfort area.  The land started to change, and we quickly got used to the beauty and greatness of the mountains. 
  We arrived at our Windsor, CO for our first night, and spent some great time with friends of our family.  It was a fairly short night of rest, and we were up again early the next morning.  Our goal for our second day of traveling?  VEGAS!!  It was a big goal, and meant about 12-13 hours of traveling.  Sounds alot more do-able when you don't have 3 kids who like to cry, whine, and fight. 
  The first several hours of driving for day two was slow and used a lot of focus.  We were going through the Rocky Mountains, and although they are breath takingly beautiful, they are stressful to drive through.  Accending and deccending mixed with tight curves are just not my idea of easy, peaceful drving.  Thankfully, my Girlfriend didn't mind, and she tackled the mountains like a Champ! :)  
  We crossed the state line for Utah, and were met with more of God's spledor.  I was much drier than Colorado, but it still held amazing landscapes filled with canyons and platueas.  There were still mountains, but they were shaped differently than the Rockies.  There was alot of brush and other crazy looking plants and shrubs.    The worst part of the trip, happened in Utah.  My youngest, J, got car sick, and made a nice big mess on herself and her carseat.  It wouldn't have been so bad if I could've cleaned it up at a rest stop.  No such luck.  We were just at a rest stop, and if you've ever traveled through Utah, you'll understand that they don't have many rest stops, or towns with any services.  So, the only thing we could do, was pull off on an exit ramp, and make the best of the nothing we had.  Let me tell you from first-hand experience: it's difficult to clean up puke when your best tool is wet wipes.  I was able to clean things enough, that we felt we could keep going, although getting the smell out of the van was going to need another bag of tricks...and I knew we wouldn't find that in 'no life' Utah.  (Sorry, Utah.  I don't dislike you, it's just that you weren't helpful when we needed you the most....no hard feelings:)
  We kept on trucking, and passed through the corner of Arizona and Nevada in the dark.  It was quite late, but we still wanted to reach Vegas for the night.  Come on!  Who doesn't want to see Vegas in the dark, with all the lights a-going?  We pushed hard, and with the van full of sleeping kids, we crested the hill before Vegas, and our mouths dropped open in shock of all the lights we saw.  Quite honestly, my first thought was fear.  Yes, I wanted to see the lights, but I had a lot of fear about actually entering "Sin City" at night with my kids in tow. 
  Through my husband's help, encouragement, and guidance, we made it to the South edge of the city, and we parked between The Luxor and The Excalibur.  Deciding on which motel to stay at was the easy part (The Exaclibur).  The hard part was yet to come...waking the kids, and somehow getting them and all our stuff inside and to our room in 1 trip.  A bell man took our luggage, and me and my Girlfriend were left to carry the kids, get checked in, and get up to our room.  So, I'm wasn't trying to be a worry-wart, but how could I not be concerned about being in Vegas at 11:00 at night with 3 little kids with sober and drunk people milling about hoping to strike it rich?  We entered the lobby, and we were hit in the face with a blur of noise, lights, and excitement.  I was wearing a backpack and my purse, and was carrying my little J with her big Blankie, and I was trying to direct my walking son who was very enamored by all the activity.  The casino was huge, and of course they designed it so you would have to walk through the whole casino in order to reach the registration desk.  I would've enjoyed this at a different time, but not the way I was stumbling around with the kids and my last shreds of sanity. 
  While we were waiting in line to register, the couple behind us were trying to talk to my son and tell me how tired he looked.  I tried to be as polite as I could be, but all I wanted to do was roll my eyes, and tell them what a long day we had, and if they weren't planning on helping us, then please just leave us alone.  We got checked in, and trudged once more through the huge casino lugging the kids, aiming to reach our room located on the 8th floor.  When we finally reached our room, I was shaky and not feeling like myself.  The wear of the strain of the day was finally setting in.  An hour later, I was showered and ready to sleep for our 1-night, Vegas experience. 
  The next day we crept out of Vegas, and all we have to show for our stay is pictures.  :)  No gambling, and no alcohol.  We finished driving through Nevada, and fought against strong desert winds.  I was so relieved when we reached California.  Finally, the same state as my husband!  Driving through LA was awful and stressful.  Unfortunately, we did hit some of the rush hour traffic, which stole at least an hour of our time from G. 
  The last hour of our trip, I was constantly on the phone with G.  We were trying to find a good meeting place, and excitedly chatted about how we couldn't believe this was finally happening.  We decided to meet in a parking lot.  I couldn't wait!  We drove up, and all hopped out of the van.  A couple minutes later, I finally spotted G, and he started making his way to us.  He looked like California, wearing a black back-pack, and his military haircut, and sunglasses. 
   After 14 weeks of separation, I could FINALLY say to the kids, "Look!  There's Daddy!!"  The kids ran excitedly towards him, and enveloped him with hugs and kisses.  Our reunion was a sweet one, and it was awesome seeing the kids in their Daddy's arms again.  I immediately felt like my load was lessened.  I wasn't alone anymore, and I could share the responcibilities with G again.  It was great to hug, hold hands, steal a few kisses, and laugh as a family again.  Just being with eachother was enough for me.  We were a Family again! :)  God opened up all the doors for the trip, and blessed us with the protection we needed, and we were finally together again.  Honestly, some of the best minutes that evening, was just sitting next to him with the kids on his lap, knowing that it was real, and he wouldn't be leaving shortly.
   I am so thankful to God's faithfulness to our family, and His care over us for those long 14 weeks.  With out God's strength, we wouldn't have been able to make it a single hour.  I am in awe at my Heavenly Father's Faithfulness, Care, Protection, and Love to our family.  This adventure in Cali has only just begun, and I am certain that the Lord will continue to be faithful to us, and uphold us, just like He has done for the last 14 weeks.  He will provide us with what we need spiritually, emotionally, finacially, and physically.  What an awesome, and Glorious God we serve!

Finally together again!

Here's a look at our time together in Texas.

Almost there...!

Last time together as a family.

   The last few weeks have passed quite quickly for me.  I have had days filled with pure joy, and there have been days laced with sadness, frustrations, and loneliness.  In my weak moments, I have wallowed in my sadness, and let the feelings of "poor me" wash over me.  I have not always been a good mom to my kids, and I haven't always been cheerful and optimistic during this season. 

  One thing that I can say for certain, God has always been faithful to us, even when I have not been faithful to Him.  I gained so much comfort from this passage a few nights ago when I was really missing G, and feeling weak.

"My grace is sufficient for thee:

for my strength is made perfect in weakness.  

Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmaities, 

that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

~II Corinthians 12:9

  In my Bible, the note on this verse says:

"Human weakness provides the ideal opportunity
for the display of Divine Power."

  I love that!  I don't think it could be worded any better.  I have seen firsthand, time and time again, that Christ has given me the strength that I needed to carry on for another day.  He has been blessing me with enough patience to deal with 3 kids for each day, and He has been blessing me with the strength I needed to spend each day as a single parent.  His "grace is sufficient, and His strength has been made perfect through (my) weakness."  I humbly praise the Lord for His faithfulness to us.  I could not have made it through 1 day, except the LORD gave me what I needed.  "His mercies are new every morning.  Great is Thy Faithfulness!"  Slowly, He has been teaching me that I need to continue to rely on Him for everything.  My strength and wisdom is weak and unreliable, but He is my God that "Great things doeth He, which we cannot comprehend." (Job 37:5b)  I know He will lead me, and I know that He will continue to give me what I stand in need of to make it through this earthly journey day by day.

  The  kids have been giving me immense happiness, and numerous smiles.  I finally feel like I'm used to being the only parent, and that they are respecting me like I'm the only parent.  I don't get worked up as quickly as I had a few weeks ago.

The kids wearing "dresses."  Check out C and R's matching bumps on there heads...:S

I love...

...watching C's motherly ways when she pushes my hair back from my face (when I'm crying) and says, "Mommy, ok?"

...hearing the girls talk to each other over the baby monitor when they're supposed to be sleeping.

...the excitement on C's face when she was able to talk to G on the phone, and then very excitedly told her bus driver that she, "Talked to Daddy!"

...R asking me every time we're in the van, "Share Mommy's candy, please."  (It's much harder to say no when he is so polite... :S)

...hearing Miss J count the steps as she walks down them "1, 2, 3, 6, 8, 9, 10!"

...hearing the kids repeat what G says when they watch the videos he made for them before he left.

...sharing bed time prayer with the kids when they always ask to, "Pray for Daddy!"  So we say, "Dear Lord, Please be with Daddy.  Keep Daddy safe, keep Daddy strong.  Bring Daddy home, when he's all done.  We love you, Daddy! Amen!"

...getting letters from G.

...being able to hear G's voice during our short, but precious phone calls.

...knowing that this is the week that I will be in G's arms again! :)

Kids watching Dad's videos that we made before he left.  They love them, and ask for them several times a day. :)

  Yay!!  I am leaving tomorrow for Texas, and I am beyond excited to see G again!!  It has been a long and lonely 8 weeks, but at least we're almost done with the hardest part of training. 

Our last kiss...8 weeks ago from today. :(

Week 5

  Yesterday morning, I woke up happy knowing that I would be getting time away from the kids, and some much needed alone time.  I had my hair and make up done by 10:00am and I anxiously awaited my relief that came at 2:00.  
  I did a little shopping at a second hand store in a near by town.  I then continued my journey to another town about 15 more miles away.  I spent a little time wandering in an Antique store looking for nothing in particular.  The only thing I did find, was loneliness...in every isle, in every corner, in every step and word not spoken.  I didn't have G there to share my thoughts with.  I didn't have my best friend there to walk with and hold my hand.  When I turned to the side, he wasn't there for me to smile at.  He wasn't there with me to make more memories or more inside jokes.   
  I left the Antique store sad and empty.  I drove around town for a while to see different things, and look at big, beautiful, old houses.  I was hoping to feel some happiness, but all I wanted to do was tell G ideas that I came up with for our own house.  To take up a little more time, I went to another store in town that G and I always enjoy stopping at.  We always say to each other, "You never know what you'll find, or what will be on sale." 
  I found some cute zip-up hoodies to try on.  The store was not large or busy, and the only dressing room required a worker to unlock it.  I didn't want to bother anyone, so I just tried the hoodies on over my shirt outside of the dressing room.  As I was admiring how they fit and looking in the mirror, I felt it again...the loneliness...the emptiness.  G was not there to tell me how they looked on me.  He was not there to smile at me and say, "If that's what you want, then we'll get it.  It looks cute on you!"
  In that moment, when I was staring at myself in the mirror, I felt like time stood still and I was the only person there.  The music stopped, and all I could hear was my own breathing and my heart breaking.  I was able to truly say and believe what I've known to be true for the last 10 years.  
   
                                   "Nothing matters but you." 
   
  These things don't matter.  This trip doesn't matter.  It doesn't matter what store I'm in, or how much money I spend.  It doesn't matter if I'm sitting in a smelly old gas station watching bugs crawl across the floor, or fine dining in the most expensive restaurant around and being waited on hand and foot.  What matters is who I'm with.  What matters is being with my Best Friend, my Husband.  Money, situations, or places mean nothing if you're not with the person you love.  I can say honestly now, that I would do anything and go to the ends of the earth just to be with the man that I love.  We could be living in a shack in Alaska cold and hungry, or living in our home that we live in now, warm and comfy.  It doesn't matter where, just as long as we're together. 

  I left the store with my 1 item, and I drove toward home.  I did stop for supper at a neighboring town.  I debated whether I should eat alone or not, but reminded myself that I was strong and confident enough to eat alone in public.  So, I took a seat in the furthest corner and faced the windows, and quietly ate my meal.  I couldn't help but think of G and dream about being with him again in 3 weeks.  Once my food was gone, I just sat there looking out the window.  I thought about our good memories, or kids, and our future.  I could feel the emotion creeping up my throat, and I started to cry...silently....by myself....at my corner table.  Oh, how I miss him!  I love him more than I could ever say, and I ache for him. 

  When I had composed myself, I left.  I drove home and picked up the mail before heading into the house.  There, in the middle of the stack, was a hand-written envelope from G.  My heart lurched, and I started to cry and to shake.  I quickly came in the house and found quietness in our bedroom to read the 1st letter in 5 weeks from G.  I cried, laughed, and smiled through all 6 pages of the most beautiful hand writing.  What an amazing feeling!  I felt that connection again, and I felt like I wasn't quite so alone anymore.  

  Parts of his letters:

  "I wish that I could be there to comfort you, but I can't be, so I have to trust in God to give that to you.  Hun, you know that I love you, more than anything.  I want you to stay strong, and lean on He who has never let us down.  I love you more than I can ever say or express to you and I miss you sooooo much!  I can't wait to see you again!  Love, G"
  "I think about you all the time.  I'm so proud of how well you're holding up.  I know that God is giving you the strength and I'm so thankful.  I always knew that you could be strong and how great of a mother and wife that you are.  I think that you needed to see it, too.  I hope that you do.  I'm soooo looking forward to seeing you again!"